Christmas Stories on the web

While we are inundated with Christmas carols and Christmas movies are virtually unavoidable on TV, there are many excellent Christmas stories that we no longer take the time to read. One thing the internet has given us is free access to many of these classic stories.

In addition to text versions, many of these have free audio versions available. Most of these audio links are mp3 files, which can be downloaded to your iPod or burned onto a CD. It makes a change on those Christmas drives from the same carols that you have gotten tired of over the last month.

Here are some of my favorite Christmas stories. These stories and readings are all in the public domain, so you need not worry about being naughty when downloading.

The Adventure of the Blue Carbuncle by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Sherlock Holmes is at his deductive best in a story that begins with a dropped Christmas goose. This story can be read online, or you can listen to it. There are also radio performances from 1948, with John Stanley as Holmes and from 1955 with Sir John Gielgud as Holmes and Sir Ralph Richardson as Dr. Watson. If you use Netflix, there is also an excellent version of it on Disc 3 of The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes.

Gift of the Magi by O. Henry
I have always had a soft spot for O. Henry, and especially for Gift. While it has been made into a movie and various performances, I still think it is best in the short concise story that O. Henry wrote. Gift is a simple story about love and sacrifice, with a classic O. Henry twist at the end. Read it or listen to it.

The Little Match Girl by Hans Christian Anderson
This is the Christmas story Red Sovine would have written if he had been a Dutch author instead of a country writer/singer. In less than 1000 words a story is told that has inspired movies, an opera, and thousands of pages of interpretation. Simple and moving, you can read it online or listen to a reading.

Reginald’s Christmas Revel by Saki (H. H. Munro)
OK, enough sappy Christmas goodness. This is a wry, satirical story about having to spend Christmas with relatives you dislike (an experience that I am sure we are all at least a bit familiar with.) If you like dry British humor, this is the story for you. (Note to Katie, you will not like this, but Chris probably will.) I have a link to the text and to a reading. If you enjoy this, do yourself a favor and read more of Saki’s work. His stories are short, with twist endings like O. Henry, but with dry wit and a dose of the macabre.

Twas the Night Before Christmas (A Visit from St. Nicholas) by Clement C. Moore
OK, I cannot pretend that this story is little known, or forgotten. I would like, however, to give you a link to the version on Project Gutenberg. This version has the excellent 1912 illustrations by Jessie Wilcox Smith. Gutenberg also has several readings you can choose from.

I hope you enjoy some of these. Project Gutenberg, which is the source for most of these texts, even those on other sites, does a marvelous job of making public domain works actually available to the public and has, in recent years, also helped provide audio versions of many books, from Shakespeare to Jules Verne and Mark Twain.

Opie, Andy, Richie and the Fonz for Obama

OK, this is just too cool not to pass on.

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die

Pastor calls out God

I have said for years that many theists have a lower opinion of their God than I, as an atheist, could ever have. Here is a case in point. The following clip is from the invocation at a McCain rally. I realize that the pastor in question was most likely provided by the local GOP, and his prayer was not vetted (that is assuming that the McCain campaign actually vets anyone (cough .. Sarah Palin .. cough)), but these are the people that McCain has chosen to pander to in his Faustian attempt at power.



I thought that baseball players doing a quick prayer (for a hit, presumably) before readjusting their cup was a bit silly. I mean I know he is omnipotent and all, but to throw a baseball game seems a bit, um, petty for God. This guy tops any of that. In a grown up version of the child's "God, I want a pony. If you don't give me a pony, then you don't exist", this pastor wants God to maintain his street cred by throwing an election. What the American people want is apparently less important than Allah thinking that the Christian god "ain't all that".

Never mind the fact that the pastor doesn't know enough about other religions to understand that Hindu and Buddha are not gods, or that a lot of American Christians want Obama to win, or even that Allah is just God in another language, and, in fact, is the same Abramaic God that he is calling out, just running under a newer patch. this guy thinks that the same God who told him to pray in private and render unto Caesar will change his omnipotent mind if called out by a local bible thumper. This guy's God may be omnipotent, but, in the pastor's mind at least, is a bit insecure about it, and can be coerced into throwing an election using tactics that most parents try to teach their children to resist. What's next? Will God be caught smoking behind Heaven's gym because "all the cool Gods are doing it!"?

For no particular reason

Saw this clip posted on a thread about pop star cameos and had to share.

A few quick word about the debate

First, check out MightyGodKing's LiveBlog on the debate. OK, the language is a bit adult, but it is pretty damn funny, so I don't care. Funny trumps most things.

I thought McCain looked much more comfortable in this format, which is why he preferred it so much that he says he wouldn't have had to lie about Obama so much if Obama had agreed to three Town Hall debates. He does well when he approaches individuals and speaks directly to them.

Two things that jumped into my head during the debate, one for each candidate.

Obama: "A year ago I went to Wall Street and said we have to regulate and nothing happened." Wall Street is a big place, not to mention it is more of a concept than a place. How do you go there and tell them something? I had this picture of Obama dressed as Martin Luther nailing a deregulation edict to the front door of AIG.

McCain: "Nuclear power.Senator Obama says it should be safe or disposable or something like that." Yeah, somthing like that would be good. Is McCain making fun of the idea of safety at nuclear plants? "Look, I--I was on Navy ships that had nuclear power plants. Nuclear power is safe." Maybe it is just me, but for a man who has Stage II melanoma to tout the safety of close proximity to nuclear power may not be the most convincing argument.

Best line of the debate:
Obama: "And you know Senator McCain, I think the Straight Talk Express lost a wheel on that one."

Most annoying thing about the debate:
McCain saying "I know how to" whether is was "fix the economy", "what the fixes are [for Social Security] and how to fix it", "how to get bin Laden". If you know how to do all these things, why have you been keeping it a secret? Let us in on this fix for SSN, where bin Laden is, etc.. We don't need "secret plans", we need actual policies, which you are short on.

GOP, following the party lie

Is there anything currently more ludicrous than John McCain's slogan "the Straight Talk Express". Boy George in full regalia is ten times straighter than the McCain campaign these days. After being called on the various lies (Obama plans to raise taxes, Palin said "No" to the "Road to Nowhere", Palin never sought earmarks while governor), McCain's campaign manager, Rick Davis, came right out and said, ""This election is not about issues." Of course not, if McBushCain's campaign gets its way. It knows that on issues it will lose. They need to keep selling "Obama is going to raise taxes"; "Obama is a celebrity" and "Obama is an elitist" like there is no tomorrow, and hope that their unofficial compatriots will keep selling the "Obama is a secret Muslim" meme for them. Not only does McCain lie about Obama, he even distorts non-partisan comments about Obama. It has gotten to the point that even Karl Rove is complaining about McCain's lies.

As if simple lies are not enough, McCain's campaign is now trying to make it harder for eligible voters to vote and trying to trick people who think they are applying for absentee ballots into applying incorrectly. In Florida, McCain's campaign handed out instructions on how to apply for an absentee ballot with the incorrect address. In Ohio, he added an extra question, not required for the application, that, if not answered will cause the request to be rejected. Even the Ohio Attorney General was angry about this one. McCain once said that he was not willing to "lose a war to win an election." In yet another about face on his positions, we know that he is now willing to sell his soul, and the American people down the river to win one. I don't care what political party you favor, how can anyone with any morals at all stomach what the GOP has become? Oh yeah, I forgot, as long as he want to stop those nasty gay people from marrying and will toss out insincere promises to do something about "Roe vs Wade", "value voters" will stomach anything.

P.S. Recently the story broke that while Sarah Palin was mayor of Wasilla, her new sheriff, with her approval, began charging rape victims for the rape kits used in the investigation. The McCain-Palin campaign has vigorously denied it, but documents bear out the original story.

OK, we already knew this in our hearts

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